how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
