I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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