wake up i wanna do it froggy style
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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