Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
