I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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