When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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