Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
