and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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