found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize