don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
