Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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