If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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