Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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