i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Randomize
