I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize