There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
