Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
