Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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