went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
