Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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