He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
