dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
They have beer where we have blood.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
