we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
