Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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