So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
In America we eat man semen.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
