He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
It was confusing and full of hummus
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
