i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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