I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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