oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
