I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
