But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Randomize
