maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
