Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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