I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
