The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Randomize
