hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
