eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
