I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
