this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
