If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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