im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
