Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
