i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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