she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
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