Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize