Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
