sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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