there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
