evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Randomize
