I think I died a long time ago.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
