another moral hangover. fuck.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize