Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
