drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
