Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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