Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Come share oat with me in your robe
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
