the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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