hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
