i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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