I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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